Love shouldn’t be complicated it shouldn’t be stressful neither should it be too difficult, if you are stuck in the limbo of uncertainties about whether to remain in a relationship or if its time to work on it, or you really don’t know when to call it quits in a relationship then it shows your relationship definitely has a problem however it’s not pertinent to always quit your relationships each time you are met with relationship turbulence.
Misunderstandings and quarrels are part of a healthy relationship you won’t get to know your partner better if you both don’t once in a while have a clash of interests goals, objectives, and decisions that is how to know who you are in a relationship with.
A relationship that has no misunderstanding is a relationship filled with pretense and deceit however there is so much a person can take there is a limit to quarrels, arguments, and misunderstandings if you spend more time arguing in your relationship than you spend being lovey dovey to each that my friend is enough reason to quit.
There are several reasons why you shouldn’t bother trying to keep working on your relationship, in which the best thing to do is to quit and regain your sanity if your relationship is affecting your psychological being then you should let it go .
If you don’t know how or when to call it quits in a relationship, you are too confused that you don’t know when to leave a relationship then read further and gain insight on when to call it quits in a relationship no matter how difficult it is for you.
Table of Contents
When to call it quits in a relationship
When no civil conversations ever occur between you two
People in love often engage in romantic, argumentative,and important conversations about themselves or about what they experienced in the course of the day or even something as insignificant as the colour of the cloth they wore to a fair in previous times this is what makes a relationship great, the communication, the civil banter and funny conversations that occurs between you two create a memory that will never fade
If you are in a relationship where you don’t have conversations, you only talk to each other when you want to ask questions or when you deliver something to them or probably when appropriate that you have to say something to them .. then it is no longer a relationship .
Effective communication is one thing that makes a relationship better and great when such communication is not found in a relationship there is no reason to be in it. We all are humans who need time, attention, and definitely someone special to talk to. when your partner is not that person you talk to when you need to then there is no need to be in such a relationship.
When you are lonely and feeling single in a relationship
Companionship is one of the numerous benefits of being in a relationship, you shouldn’t be lonely when you have a partner you should be with. If you have a partner who dedicates little or no time to you it sure means they are giving it to someone else .its unfair to feel lonely while you have a partner you should be with. If they don’t make out time for you then you should be with someone that values you enough to give you attention
When you find it difficult to forgive
Forgiveness is part of every relationship. No matter how heart hardened you are, you will have to develop or cultivate the art of forgiveness because your partner will err you, and annoy you what makes your relationship stronger is when you forgive them however when the offense is too great that you can’t forgive then you should let them go.
Bringing up their past offenses or something they did to you every time you both have a conversation is the easiest way to kill your relationship. If you can’t get over what they did, no need to string them along let them go then work on healing before jumping into the next relationship.
When you feel safer apart than together
Are you in a relationship where the only time you feel safe and comfortable is when your partner is not with you then you should reconsider being in the relationship. Relationship comes with security , you should feel secured and protected when you are with your partner . you should be comfortable and free when you are with them but if you feel restricted, unsafe, and insecure around them, it’s a red flag that should not be ignored.
If their lifestyle is too dangerous for you that it dangers your life then you should consider leaving. you shouldn’t be in a relationship where you have to hide or duck behind trees when you see certain people as a result of your partner’s activities.
When the relationship is becoming toxic and abusive.
I am an ardent preacher of working on relationships, I believe relationships can be fixed if two people involved are willing to fix it however when it comes to physical, and emotional abuse I don’t support that and will never wish anyone to get together with the person that once abused them either physically or emotionally.
You can’t fix them if they don’t want to fix themselves more often than not they don’t even know they have problems that need to be fixed they should be in an anger management class and not with you. No matter how desperate you are to be in a relationship never be in a relationship with an abusive partner.
Toxic relationship is addictive don’t be in that loop . if they make you feel uneasy and unsafe then you make a drastic decision to let go . Does your partner treat you like a rag doll, a door mat or someone insignificant and unimportant then you should let that relationship go . no one should make anyone feel lesser, no one should make another human feel unsafe. when you are in such “situationship” it is advisable to walk away while you can
When you no longer feel anything for them
It’s possible to fall out of love with someone you once loved. when this happens you don’t have to beat yourself to hard it isn’t your fault. It’s foolhardy to want to remain in a relationship where you no longer feel anything for them anymore .
no matter how much you try to pretend they will find out because when you are no longer in love with someone your character towards them changes, even when you try to pretend or cover-up, the tale-tell sign will still be there like how you will stop calling or texting or being ridiculously funny around them or how you flinch away from them when they want to get intimate with you, or how you no longer have the time for intimate activities.
When this happens let them know about it and move on. it might be painful for them but it is important you both walk away from the relationship because one or both of you is bound to get hurt pretty soon.
When you are no longer sexually attracted to your partner
Some things might be the reason why you are no longer sexually attracted to your partner. no relationship can survive without sex, sex creates a bond and connection between couples, especially married couples. when your sex life is affected in a relationship it becomes increasingly impossible for you to be happy in that relationship. A lot of issues might be the reason you suddenly have no sexual feelings for your partner this might be
- Health issues
- Lack of trust
- Anger due to cheating from your partner’s side
- Traumatic experiences
- Decrease In physical hygiene of your partner
A lot more might be the reason you no longer want to get intimate with them, it is a red flag forever is too long to be sexually frustrated.
When you no longer have the zeal to work on your relationship
Every relationship one way or the other needs the effort of two people to make it better, in other words it needs to be worked on from time to time to bring out the best of it to make it enviable to those around you .
when you no longer have the zeal to work on your relationship to find out what the problem is or even to know where the problem is coming from in a relationship then it shows its time to let it go.for instance your partner stops talking to you for a while because of something you have done but instead of you to find out what the problem is, you find it too hard or you wont even care if they are angry with you or not as a matter of fact you contribute nothing to the betterment of your relationship it means you should call it quits .
When nothing they do ever excites you anymore
If you hardly get excited about them or the relationship then you should consider quitting relationship is exciting . alot of things your partner does for you will excite ou only if you love them . if that excitement is not there maybe just maybe you need to find out what it s that is making you feel that way
When your basic needs are not met
Every relationship has needs that should be met it might be the need to be loved, understood, protected, and supported if you don’t get any of these from your partner then it’s a red flag.you should be in a relationship where your opinions matter where your feelings are taking into uptmost consideration when you are not feeling that support or love then you should call it quits
When your life goals have changed drastically
Having a commonality is one thing or one of the numerous reasons you both are in a relationship. Although its pretty normal to have different life goals and ambitions but is necessary you both have life term goals which you are working on giving each other support to achieve. This ensure the strengthening of your relationship having a goal and ambiton together strengthens your relationship.
When you find out your goals and ambitions have changed then it’s a more sane reason to quit a relationship for instance when you no longer want to live in a particular country while they want to live there and has no intention of ever leaving, or when you both decided not to have a baby and at one point their resolve and goal automatically changes and they suddenly want a baby this is enough reason to quit a relationship seeing that you both no longer share a deep-rooted value system and there is nothing to build on, calling it quits is the right thing to do.
When you feel too stuck, overwhelmed, and unhappy in the relationship
Why are you in that relationship? Do you have a reasonable answer for these questions if all things being equal will you want to be in a relationship with this person?, if you are to change one thing about yourself and your relationship will you go back in time to change the answer you gave to them when they asked you out?,
if not for the opinion of people and the mouth lashings from people will you still want to be in that relationship? Are your kids the only reason you are still in that relationship? if you had no kids with your current partner will you still be in a relationship with them ? if all your answers are in the negative then you really should consider calling it quits everybody will be fine, your children will definitely be fine they will understand your mental health is something that should not be taken for granted.
What people will say about your separation is of no significant value, they are meant to talk, you shouldn’t listen to what they have to say as long as you are happy with the decision you made.
When you have tried your best to fix your relationship yet its not yielding result.
It takes two to tango when you have put much effort to fix your relationship yet nothing positive is happening it’s a common pointer that its time to let it go . relationship should not be too complicated to fix, if you both are not compatible then there is no reason to be in the relationship in the first place .it should be easy fixing a relationship when there is still love left, when there is no love left in a relationship it becomes increasingly hard to really fix a problem that sprang up in the relationship.
When you don’t think living together or being together in the future is possible
Have you ever tried asking your partner what your future together looks like? Have you ever tried to find out if they really see you in their future. Truth is you might be dating someone who sees you as a temporary relief, they don’t have any long term relationship goal with you, when you ask them what they think about having a future with you and they stall or try to avoid that question then you should have a rethink .
On the other hand if you don’t see a future with them , if you don’t want to be in their future and you are so sure you don’t want to be , call it quits , let them go, painful right ? I know but it’s necessary you let them know how you feel so as not to rope them along its unfair !
signs,and effect of healthy and unhealthy relationship
Relationships are filled with several ups and downs every healthy relationship has one or two times they have argued about something or had misunderstanding of sort, that does not mean it isn’t healthy or it toxic and giving up on your relationship because of minor disturbances is quite extreme and dramatic however there comes a point where leaving the relationship entirely is greatly advised for your mental health and for your own safety . when daily activities of your partner threatens your life then its definitely time to walk away . when they are being abusive ,physically or emotionally then is a cause for alarm you should call it quits.
A relationship is not a do or die affair walk away when it threatens your peace of mind or your life then it’s a point where you don’t have to look back when you walk alone if you keep thinking about when to call it quits in a relationship it sure means you need to let go of your relationship and move on.